One of the realities of a deployment to Iraq is the stagnation.
Stagnant is defined as:
1. Not moving or flowing; motionless.2. Foul or stale from standing: stagnant ponds.3.a. Showing little or no sign of activity or advancement; not developing or progressing; inactive: a stagnant economy.b. Lacking vitality or briskness; sluggish or dull: a stagnant mind.
And that is exactly how I feel, maybe not the foul part….but the rest for sure.
Now, I don’t typically apologize for lack of energy in writing–or for even not writing. I don’t think you want to hear about me justify my failure of sorts. However, the fact I do feel stagnant is pertinent to you understand the mental struggle of being deployed.
This is an effect that I discovered last deployment very heavily, and I am finding it now. I have nothing to write. So much is the same…so much gets sucked out of you–by this time in the deployment–all that I want to see is the bus taking my away from the plane. I really don’t care about getting on a plane right now–just getting off.
Throughout Iraq, there are thousands of Soldier in the same boat. Yes, we are ready to do our jobs–but entering into the twelfth month with another two to go–it is hard to get motivated to do thoguht provoking work.
This morning, forced myself up and I ran four miles (in 33 minutes). This was the highlight of my day. After my run, I took my shower and went back to doing the exact same thing I did the 350 days before. This is how the stagnation takes place.
In the states, people have the weekend to recharge. They go home at night. They watch some TV or even go out after the day to unwind. Soldiers…we go to a CHU, however nice it is, and lay down. Yes, we watch some TV while we lie in bed, or play a game. But, we never leave. And we work everyday.
I say all of this, not to complain, but to explain. Many times we think of the hardship of war being fear or injury. One of the hardships that is overlooked is the stagnation that ensues and engulfs the individuals downrange.
Stephanie says
This is an aspect of deployment that never crossed my mind. Thank you for writing about it. I can only imagine how difficult this makes daily life.
Greg Woodard says
CH. Andrews,
I pray for you (and others that are there with you) every day. I will pray specifically that God will give you sustaining strength as you enter the final months of your deployment.
Blessings,
Greg Woodard